Of Domestical Duties, Volume III

EPHES. 6. 1. Children obey your Parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2. Honour thy father and mother (which is the first commandement with promiſe.) 3. That it may be well with thee: and thou maiſt liue long on the earth.

THe ſecond couple in a familie are

• Parents.
• Children.

In laying downe their duties, the Apoſtle beginneth with children: his direction, and inſtigation vnto them is laid downe in the three firſt verſes of the ſixt chapter: wherein

• 1. He declareth their dutie.
• 2. He addeth reaſons to inforce the ſame.

In laying downe their dutie he noteth three points.

• 1. Wherein it conſiſteth, (obey, honour.)
• 2. To whom it is to be performed (your parents.)
• 3. After what manner it is to be done (in the Lord.)

The reaſons vſed by the Apoſtle are foure.

• 1. The place of parents (in the Lord.)
• 2. The aequitie of the thing (this is right.)
• 3. The charge of God (Honour thy father, &c.)
• 4. The reward promiſed (That it may goe well, &c.)

p. 428 Vnder this word (obey) which the Apoſtle vſeth, and that word (honour) which the law vſeth, are all thoſe duties compriſed, which any where thorowout the whole Scripture are inioyned to children.

We will therefore ſet them downe in ſome order, and handle them diſtinctly one after another.

• 1. The Fountaine of childrens duties is to be ſearched out.
• 2. The Streames that flow from thence are to be obſerued.

The Fountaine is an inward diſpoſition of the heart compounded of loue and feare.

The Streames iſſuing from thence extend vnto parents, both while they are liuing, and alſo when they are dead.

Childrens duties which are to be performed to their parents while they liue, haue reſpect to their Authoritie.

Neceſſitie.

The Authoritie of parents requireth of children Reuerence.

Obedience.

Their Neceſſitie requireth Recompence.

The duties which children owe to their parents deceaſed, reſpect their Body.

Credit.

Their Body with decency muſt be buried.

Their Credit with honour muſt be maintained.

I make the fountaine of childrens duties to be a mixed and compound diſpoſition, in reſpect of that authoritie and affection which is mixed together in parents. The authoritie of parents requireth feare in children: and their affection, loue. So intire and ſo ardent is parents affection towards their children, as it would make children too bold and inſolent if there were not authoritie mixed therewith to worke feare: and ſo ſupreme and abſolute is their authoritie ouer them, as it would make children like ſlaues to dread their parents, if a fatherly affection were not tempered therewith to breed loue. But both theſe ioyned together make a very good compoſition: loue like ſugar ſweetneth feare, and feare like ſalt ſeaſoneth loue: and thus, to ioyne them both together, it is a louing-feare, or a fearingloue, which is the ground of childrens duties.

p. 429 Where Chriſt forbiddeth an exceſſiue loue in children to¹ their parents, he implieth that parents are a fit obiect for children to loue (ſo as their loue be wel moderated:) yea he implieth that it is an affection euen by nature ingraffed in children to loue their parents. Ioſeph is commended vnto children as a worthy patterne in louing his father, and that from his youth till the deceaſe of his father: in teſtimony whereof in his younger yeeres he brought to his father the euill report of his² brethren, whereby he incurred their enuie and hatred, which he would neuer haue done, if he had not loued his father: and hauing beene long abſent from his father, when by Gods prouidence there was offered an occaſion for him to meet with his brethren, one of his firſt queſtions to them was about their father:³ and hearing that he was liuing, he thought it not enough to ſend him food for his need, but muſt alſo needs ſee his face,⁴ and haue him dwell with him: and while his father was in the way he went out to meet him, and at firſt ſight fell on his neck,⁵ and wept a good while (a token of great affection.)

1. 1. Mat. 10. 37.
2. 2. Gen. 37. 2.
3. 3. Gen. 43. 7.
4. 4. Gen. 45. 9.
5. 5. Gen. 46. 29.

That loue which naturally parents beare to their children,⁶ ought in equitie to breed in children a loue to their parents. For loue deſerueth loue: and moſt vnworthy are they to be loued, who cannot loue againe. The loue of parents aboue all others is to be anſwered with loue on childrens part to the vttermoſt of their power, becauſe it is free, great, and conſtant.

1. 6. Reaſons. 1. Equitie.

Beſides, there is a neceſſitie of loue in children to their parents,⁷ leſt for want thereof, their ſubiection (which of all others ought to be moſt free) ſhould turne into ſlauiſh ſeruitude.

1. 7. 2 Neceſſitie.

This ought children the rather to labour after, becauſe by nature they are nothing ſo prone to loue their parents, as their parents are to loue them. Loue is weightie, and, as weighty things, it deſcendeth. Children therefore with conſcience of dutie muſt labour to make ſupply of this defect, and helpe nature by grace. I denie not but naturally there is in children a greater loue to their parents, then to others: yet in compariſon of the heat of parents loue to them, their loue to their parents is but cold. Wherfore as the heat of the Sun ſhining much and long on a ſtone wall, draweth a reflection of heat from that wall: ſo the hot beames of parents loue, which with p. 430 feruency and conſtancy is caſt on children, ought to prouoke and ſtirre vp children to ſend forth a reflection of loue on their parents.

Two extreames are contrary to this affection of loue.

One is want of naturall affection, which is a vice moſt odious⁸ and abominable in all, but moſt of all in children. The Apoſtle reckoneth this among the moſt heighnous vices that be.

1. 8. ἀστοργία. Rom. 1. 30. 2 Tim. 3. 3.

The other is hatred and deſpight of parents: a vice more then monſtrous, and vnnaturall. From thence commeth mocking and curſing of parents, whereof we ſhall afterwards heare.

To the forenamed dutie of loue, muſt feare be added, which is a childes awfull reſpect of his parent.

This awfull reſpect ariſeth from an honourable eſteeme which a childe in his iudgement and opinion hath of his parent, as he is his parent; and from it proceedeth on the one ſide, a deſire and indeauour in all things to pleaſe the parent, and on the other ſide a loathneſſe to offend him.

In this reſpect the feare of a childe is oppoſed to the feare of a ſlaue. For a childes feare being mixed with loue, hath reſpect to the offence which a parent may take; but a ſlaues feare, which is ordinarily mixed with hatred, hath reſpect to nothing but the puniſhment which his maſter may inflict vpon him. The forenamed feare is ſo proper to children, as that awfull reſpect which the Saints beare to God, is called a⁹ ſiliall or child-like feare.

1. 9. See Treat. 1. §. 4.

This feare in a childe is an eſpeciall branch of that¹⁰ honour which the law requireth of children to their parents: and it is in¹¹ expreſſe termes inioyned to children by the law. That phraſe which God vſeth of Miriam (¹² If her father had but ſpit in her face, ſhould ſhe not be aſhamed ſeuen daies?) ſheweth that there ought to be ſuch a feare of the parent in a childes heart, as ſhould worke ſhame in it when the parent is offended.

1. 10. Exo. 20. 12.
2. 11. Leu. 19. 3.
3. 12. Num. 12. 14. [moved in the edition]

A worthy patterne we haue hereof in¹³ Iaakob, who was loath to gaine the bleſſing with offence of his father.

1. 13. Gen. 27. 12.

This feare keepeth loue in compaſſe: and reſtraineth a childe¹⁴ from ouermuch ſaucineſſe, and malipartneſſe.

1. 14. Reaſons. 1. Feare ordereth loue.

p. 431 And it is a cauſe of a childes reuerend and dutifull carriage¹⁵ to his parent. For as the heart is affected the carriage will be ordered.

1. 15. 2. It well guideth the carriage.

Contrary hereunto is that light, or (which is more abominable)¹⁶ that baſe and vile eſteeme of parents, which is in the heart of many children: eſpecially if parents be poore, of low degree, vnlearned, ignorant, or ſubiect to any infirmities. It cannot be but that¹⁷ Cham had too light, if not a baſe eſteeme of his father, when he derided him. A true filiall feare would haue reſtrained him from that extreme.

1. 16. Contrary, light and baſe eſteeme of parents.
2. 17. Gen. 9. 22.

Wherefore to breed and cheriſh this feare, and to preuent,¹⁸ or redreſſe the contrary extreme, let children well informe themſelues of their parents place and authoritie, how they are in Gods ſtead, and a meanes vnder God of their childrens being: children haue receiued their very ſubſtance from the ſubstance of their parents. In which reſpect though they ſhould seeme contemptible to others, yet not to their children.

1. 18. How to breed and cheriſh a filiall feare.

Thus much of a childes inward diſpoſition towards his parent. The manifeſtation thereof muſt be by his outward carriage: and that in two things; Reuerence, and Obedience: both which reſpect a parents authoritie.

The outward reuerence which children owe to their parents conſiſteth partly in their ſpeech, partly in their carriage.

Their ſpeech both to and of their parents muſt ſauour reuerence.

To their parents in preſence.

OF their parents in abſence.

In preſence, by refraining their ſpeech.

well framing

For refraining ſpeech two vertues are requiſite Silence.

Patience.

Silence in forbearing to ſpeake.

breaking of ſpeech.¹⁹

1. 19. Children ought to forbeare ſpeaking in their parents preſence

Patience in hearkening to their parents.

The two branches of ſilence, in forbearing to ſpeake (eſpecially when parents are ſpeaking, or till parents giue leaue to p. 432 their children to ſpeake,) and in breaking off ſpeech, when parents come into the place where children are ſpeaking, are tokens of great reuerence. Thus children teſtifie that there are ſome in place whom they much reſpect and honour. Iob doth thus ſet forth the reſpect which Princes and others did beare to him in his proſperitie, The Princes (ſaith he) refrained²⁰ talking, and laid their hand vpon their mouth, the Nobles held their peace, &c. Namely, while he was in preſence, or while he ſpake. The like may be ſaid of childrens patience in induring²¹ their parents ſpeech; which Iob alſo noteth in theſe words, Vnto me men gaue eare, and waited, and kept ſilence. Though parents in their ſpeech ſeeme to be long and tedious, yet muſt children indure it.

1. 20. Iob. 29. 9, 10.
2. 21. Children muſt patiently hearken to their parents ſpeech. Verſ. 25.

And it is very needfull that patience be added to ſilence, becauſe many parents in tender loue of their children, and earneſt deſire of their good, thinke they can neuer ſpeake enough in inſtructing and admoniſhing them. The many exhortations²² giuen in Scripture vnto children to heare, hearken, giue eare, giue heed, marke, and obſerue the words of their parents, doe imply the forenamed ſilence and patience: for they who²³ ought to be ſwift to heare muſt be ſlow to ſpeake. I denie not but much more is intended vnder thoſe phraſes, namely, obedience: yet muſt theſe alſo be preſuppoſed: for he that will not in ſilence patiently hearken to his parents while they ſpeake, will much leſſe obey what they ſay.

1. 22. Gen. 49. 2. Pro. 1. 8, & 4. 1. & 7. 1.
2. 23. Iam 1. 19.

Contrary to ſilence is ſawcineſſe (as we ſpeake) and ouermuch²⁴ boldneſſe in children, when, without due reſpect of their parents preſence, they will be prating of this thing or that thing: inſomuch as if ſtrangers ſhould come into the roome where ſuch children are, they would not thinke that their parents were in preſence; or if they knew it, they might well thinke that ſuch children beare little reſpect to their parents.

1. 24. Contrary, 1. boldneſſe of ſpeech.

Contrary to patience in hearing, is fretting and murmuring²⁵ againſt parents (if at leaſt their ſpeech be any whit long) and flinging or ſlinking away before they haue done. Theſe faults are the greater, if children by their loquacitie, or impatiencie hinder or interrupt their parents ſpeech when they are p. 433 giuing any admonition or inſtruction: for thus they ſhew both too light a reſpect of their parents: and alſo too little regard of the meanes of their owne good.

1. 25. 2. Impatient hearkening to parents.

A childes reuerence in well framing his ſpeech to his parents²⁶ may many waies be manifeſted, as

1. 26. A childs reuerence in ſpeech is manifeſted, 1. By reuerend titles.

1. By giuing vnto them reuerend and honourable titles. No title can be more honourable then that which is moſt proper and vſuall, Father to the one parent, and Mother to the other. God taketh the title²⁷ Father vnto himſelfe, as a title of great dignity.

1. 27. Jer. 31. 9. Gal. 4. 6.

Anſw. This is not ſimply to be taken of the title it ſelfe, but of the minde of him that giueth or affecteth that title.

1. 28. Matt. 23. 9.

If it be affected or giuen to obſcure Gods Fatherhood, or to make a man a Father of himſelfe without dependance on God, or reference to him, who is properly the father of all, it is an impious and ſacrilegious title. But otherwiſe lawfull and warrantable.

In Scripture the title Father is giuen to all degrees of dignities among men, as to²⁹ Kings,³⁰ Captaines, and other chiefe Gouernours, to³¹ Prieſts,³² Prophets,³³ Apoſtles, and other³⁴ Miniſters. In the fift commandement all ſuperiours are comprised vnder it, therefore Father is a title of great honour: and by the rule of relation Mother is a title of as great honour to the female ſex. Religious and dutifull children haue euer vſed to giue thoſe titles to their parents. My Father, ſaith³⁵ Iſaak to Abraham, and³⁶ Iaakob to Iſaak.³⁷ My Mother, ſaith Salomon to Bathſheba. I finde alſo the title of³⁸ Sir or Lord, vſed: a title³⁹ of honour.

1. 29. 1 Sam. 24. 12.
2. 30. 2 Kin. 5. 13.
3. 31. Judg. 18. 19.
4. 32. 2 King. 6. 21.
5. 33. 1 Cor. 4. 15.
6. 34. 1 Tim. 5. 1.
7. 35. Gen. 22. 7.
8. 36. & 27. 18.
9. 37. 1 King. 2. 20.
10. 38. Matt. 21. 30.
11. 39. κύριε. Gen. 31. 35. אדני

2. By vſing few words before their parents: and thoſe few⁴⁰ not without iuſt occaſion, being firſt ſpoken to by their parents, or hauing leaue of them, or making knowne to them me needfull matter: at leaſt not againſt their parents liking, as their parents ſhould be offended thereby. And if they obſerue their parents to be vnwilling to heare them ſpeake any more of ſuch and ſuch a matter, then ought they to lay their p. 434 hands vpon their mouthes, as Iſaak (Gen. 22. 7.) and Iaakob (Gen. 27. 12.) This is a token of great reſpect.

1. 40. 2. By few words.

3. By meeke and humble ſpeeches. Such was the ſpeech of⁴¹⁴² Ionathan the naturall ſonne of Saul, and of⁴³ Dauid his ſon in law, wherewith he was much contented, and his wrath pacified.

1. 41. 3. By humble ſpeech.
2. 42. 1 Sam. 19 4.
3. 43. & 24. 10.

4. By obſeruing a fit opportunity: as when parents are not⁴⁴ ſeriouſly buſied, or in company, or in paſſion. When⁴⁵ Saul was out of paſſion, how well did he accept Ionathans Apologie for Dauid? but⁴⁶ in his paſſion, how ill did he take it? This wiſe obſeruing of fit opportunity ſheweth great reuerence.

1. 44. 4 By ſeaſonable ſpeech.
2. 45. 1 Sam. 19. 6.
3. 46. & 20. 30.

5. By a preſent, ready, willing, pleaſing anſwer, when by⁴⁷ their parents they ſhall be ſpoken vnto. Eli was as a father to Samuel: therefore when⁴⁸ Samuel thought that Eli called him, he preſently and readily anſwered, Here am I: and when Eli was inſtant to know what the Lord had ſaid to him,⁴⁹ Samuel told him euery whit, and held nothing from him.⁵⁰ The younger ſon (noted in the parable) ſhewed a ſonne-like reuerence in giuing a willing and ready anſwer to his father, though he failed in his obedience, by not performing what he promiſed.

1. 47. 5. By ready anſwers.
2. 48. 1 Sam. 3. 4, 6,
3. 49. 18.
4. 50. Mat. 21. 30.

Contrary to thoſe branches of reuerence in ſpeech are,⁵¹

1. 51. Contrary, 1. Scorning to acknowledge a parent.

1. Pride: when children ſcorne to giue the title of Father, or Mother, to their parents. This is the minde of many who haue gotten more wealth or honour, then euer their parents had. In publicke eſpecially ſuch children moſt refuſe to giue thoſe titles. Salomon was not ſo minded. He being a great king, ſitting vpon his throne, in ſight and hearing of all his people that were about him, called Bathſheba Mother.⁵²

1. 52. 1 King. 2. 20.

If children had that regard to the honour of their parents which they ſhould, they being themſelues in places of honour and dignity, would the rather openly call their parents Father and Mother, that they might be knowne to be the father and mother of ſo eminent a perſon.

2. Loquacity, and too much importunity, or rather impudency⁵³ in ſpeech, when children hauing to doe with their parents, can neuer haue done (as we ſpeake) but muſt needs vrge p. 435 matters to the very vttermoſt. Many parents are oft much prouoked hereby. It skilleth not that the childe haue the right, eſpecially in a matter of no great conſequence. For reuerence ſake the childe muſt forbeare, at leaſt for a time. And if the matter of difference be weighty, as in points of religion, the child muſt either take ſome other opportunity of better informing his parent, or elſe get ſome other wiſe friend to doe it.

1. 53. 2. Too much importunitie.

3. Stoutneſſe, when children anſwer their parents as if they⁵⁴ were their equals: giuing word for word. It doth as ill become children to anſwer againe, as ſeruants (to whom the Apoſtle hath expreſly forbidden it, Tit. 2. 9.) Both law and nature forbiddeth children to be prouoked hereunto, by any thing that their parents ſay or doe; how great then is their fault who giue ſcornefull and ſtout words to their parents when they are no way prouoked, as the elder ſonne noted in the parable, and the elder brother of the prodigall childe?

1. 54. 3. Stout anſwers. Ne filius cum patre quoquo modo expoſtulet, cum lex interdixit, tum anteleges ipſa natura. Greg. Naz. in ſenten. Matt. 21. 29. Luke 15. 29.

4. Indiſcretion, when children haue no reſpect to any time, buſineſſe, or temper, of their parents in ſpeaking to them, and⁵⁵ ſo, much prouoke them. It is laid downe as a caueat to parents, that they prouoke not their children to wrath. How much more muſt children obſerue that cauear?

1. 55. 4. Vnſeaſonable ſpeech. Epheſ. 6. 4.

5. Stubborneſſe, when children pout, loure, ſwell, and giue⁵⁶ no anſwer at all to their parents. This is too common a fault in children, and many parents are much offended and grieued thereat. We heard⁵⁷ before of a childelike ſilence which was very commendable, and a token of great reuerence; but this is worthy of much blame, a token of great vndutifulneſſe; and carefully to be avoided, as that to be practiſed.

1. 56. 5. Stomachfull ſilence.
2. 57. §. 4.

So true and intire ought that reuerend reſpect to be which children beare to their parents, as their ſpeech not only to them before their faces, but alſo of them behinde their backes, muſt be ſo framed both for matter and manner, when they haue any occaſion to fall into ſpeech of their parents, as all that heare them may note them to beare a reuererend reſpect to their parents.⁵⁸

1. 58. Direction for children how to ſpeake of their parents.

As a generall direction for the better performing of this duty, let children ſpeake nothing of their parents that they p. 436 would be loath ſhould come to their parents eare. More particularly, let them ſpeake of thoſe things which moſt tend to their commendation, that ſo (as Chriſt ſaid of his father⁵⁹) they may honour their parents. Let other things be buried in ſilence ſo much as in them lieth. And if others ſpeake of matters diſgracefull to their parents, let them interpret in the better ſenſe things doubtfull, and, ſo farre as they may, extenuate things euident, and ſharply reproue them that ſlander their parents. This is that bleſſing which children owe to their parents, for neglecting whereof the wiſeman taxeth children ſaying, There is a generation that doth not bleſſe their⁶⁰ mother.

1. 59. Iohn 8. 49.
2. 60. Prou. 30. 11.

Contrary to that kinde of bleſſing is diſcouering of parents⁶¹ infirmities, noted in curſed⁶² Cham, and broaching vntruths of them, noted in impious⁶³ Abſolom, and mocking and curſing them⁶⁴ expreſly condemned. The reward whereof is by⁶⁵ Gods law death: yea a ſhamefull and ignominious death, for the⁶⁶ Rauens of the valley ſhall plucke out his eies, and the young Eagles ſhall eat it:⁶⁷ which phraſe ſetteth forth the end of a notorious malefactor that is hanged.

1. 61. Childrens vnreuerend ſpeeches of their parents.
2. 62. Gen. 9. 22.
3. 63. 2 Sam. 15. 3.
4. 64. Prou. 30. 11.
5. 65. Leu. 20. 9.
6. 66. Pro. 30. 17.
7. 67. Gen. 40. 19.

As the ſpeech, ſo the cariage of children towards their parents muſt be ſeaſoned with reuerence: for

• 1. This is a fruit, and proofe of filiall feare as well as that.
• 2. Of the two, this is the ſurer euidence: for actions are better ſignes of the diſpoſition of the heart then words.
• 3. Faire words ioyned with contrary deeds, cannot but be accounted meerely complementall and hypocriticall.
• 4. Where there is a contrariety betwixt words and deeds, the one will be a witneſſe againſt the other, and that mans condemnation the greater.⁶⁸

1. 68. Childrens reuerence to their parents manifeſted, 1. by meeting them.

Wherefore let all reuerence be manifeſted in childrens behauiour to their parents, and that in theſe and ſuch like inſtances.

1. If a parent be comming to a childe, and the childe obſerue it, let him haſte to meet his parent: ſo did⁶⁹ Ioſeph to his father, and⁷⁰ Salomon to his mother. Which two examples p. 437 are the rather to be noted, becauſe both were in eminent place: one a great gouernour, the other a king.

1. 69. Gen. 46. 29.
2. 70. 1 King. 2. 19.

2. Let ſuch child-like obeiſance be performed as becommeth⁷¹ the age and ſex, either in going to, remaining before, or going from a parent: as vncouering the head, bending the knee, bowing the body, ſtanding vp, with the like. The two forenamed eminent perſons,⁷² Ioſeph and⁷³ Solomon, bowed, the one to his father, the other to his mother.

1. 71. 2. By obeyſance to them.
2. 72. Gen. 48. 12.
3. 73. 1 King. 2. 19.

3. Let the countenance, and geſture of the body be ſo ſoberly⁷⁴ and modeſtly ordered in the preſence of the parent, as may argue due reſpect.

1. 74. 3 By well compoſing the countenance.

4. Let the vpper place, and hand be giuen to parents: and⁷⁵ if occaſionally a childe be aboue his parent, let him come below him. For that is a manifeſt token of inferiority and ſubiection. What maketh men to ſtriue for the vpper hand, but becauſe they would be accounted better then thoſe with whom they ſtriue? But that ought not to be the minde of children to their parents.

1. 75. 4. By giuing the vpper hand.

Anſw. No honour is comparable to the dignity of fatherhood: it giueth a greater eminency to the parent ouer his childe, then any other honour can to the childe ouer his parent. I grant that a childe may by ſome office, and outward dignity be ſo aduanced aboue his father, as other men may more honour and reuerence the childe, and giue the vpper place to him: and for order ſake the childe may and ought to take it in company: but when they are alone, the childe muſt rather reuerence the father.

5. According to the cuſtome of the time and place wherein⁷⁶ they liue, let children aske their parents bleſſing.

1. 76. 5. By asking bleſſing.

Some doubt is made of this duty both in regard of the thing it ſelfe, and alſo of the geſture of kneeling vſed in the performance thereof: I will therefore diſtinctly proue both.

For the thing, it is noted of Iaakob that he carried ſauory p. 438 meat to his father, that he might bleſſe him: and of Ioſeph, that⁷⁷ he went to his father, and carried his two ſonnes with him,⁷⁸ that his father might bleſſe both him and them: for which end the twelue ſonnes of Iaakob aſſembled to their father.⁷⁹

1. 77. Gen. 27. 19.
2. 78. Gen. 48. 1. &c.
3. 79. Gen. 49. 1. &c. How the bleſſings which the patriarchs gaue their children are patterns to others.

Obiect. Theſe were extraordinary examples: the Patriarchs were indued with the ſpirit of propheſie, whereby they reuealed to their children what their eſtate ſhould be in the times to come: for knowledge whereof their children came to them.

1. Anſw. Their bleſſings were more then predictions of things to come: they were confirmations and aſſurances to the⁸⁰ children that God would indeed performe that bleſſing which their parents had pronounced. For they ſuſtained a double perſon: the perſon of a Prophet, and of a father; as prophets they foretold things to come: as fathers they obtained the bleſſings pronounced, and an aſſurance thereof to their children,⁸¹ and that by faith and praier.

1. 80. See Treat. 6. §. 58.
2. 81. Heb. 11. 20.

2. Anſw. Though all parents cannot with ſuch an extraordinary ſpirit aſſure vnto their children any diſtinct particular bleſſing, yet the faithfull praier of parents is an eſpeciall, and ordinary meanes to obtaine a bleſſing from God vpon their children: and that becauſe of Gods promiſe which extends⁸² it ſelfe not only to fathfull parents, but alſo to their ſeed. Wherefore as the children of the patriarches came to their fathers to be aſſured of ſome extraordinary bleſſing, ſo may other children goe to their parents as a meanes to obtaine an ordinary bleſſing. It is noted of Eliah that by an extraordinary ſpirit in praier he obtained extraordinary matters: Yet⁸³ the Apoſtle ſetteth forth that example to all Chriſtians as a motiue to ſtirre them vp in faith to pray for ordinary bleſſings. But for further clearing of this point, note the phraſe⁸⁴ vſed in the fift commandement as a reaſon to moue children to honour their parents: this it is word for word, That they may prolong thy daies, &c. how can parents prolong their childrens daies, but by begging that bleſſing of God?⁸⁵ The praiers then of parents are a great bleſſing to children, and children ought to ſeeke this bleſſing of their parents.

1. 82. Gen. 17. 7. Act. 2. 39.
2. 83. Iam. 5. 17.
3. 84. למען יארכון ימיך
4. 85. See Treat. 6. §. 4. Prou. 15. 8. How wicked parents may bleſſe their children.

Obiect. If parents be wicked, their praier is abomination: p. 439 what bleſſing then can children looke for from wicked parents?

Anſw. Though God heare not wicked parents in loue and goodneſſe to themſelues, yet for the good of their children he may and will heare them: and that the rather to maintaine a reuerend reſpect of parents in the heart of their children. For asking a bleſſing is an acknowledgement of ſuperiority and authority, according to that of the Apoſtle, The leſſe is bleſſed⁸⁶ of the greater.

1. 86. Heb. 7. 7.

Concerning the geſture of kneeling, it is anſwerable to the⁸⁷ geſture which of old was vſed by Gods people in like caſe: of Ioſeph it is ſaid that he bowed downe himſelfe with his face to the earth.

1. 87. It is lawfull for children to kneele to their parents. Gen. 48. 12.

Anſw. It is not ſo proper, but that it may be vſed in ciuill caſes: elſe Chriſt would haue reproued the young man for kneeling before him as well as for calling him good: for he conceiued⁸⁸ Chriſt to be but a meere man, and the worſhip he did him was but ciuill.

1. 88. Mar. 10. 17.

It is not ſimply the geſture, but the occaſion of the geſture, the minde of him that performeth it, and the end why he performeth it that maketh it diuine, or ciuill. Cornelius fell down before Peter with conceit of ſome diuine excellency in him, and was not allowed: his manner of worſhiping was diuine. The iaylor fell downe before Paul and Silas in acknowledgement of ſome outward eminency in them, and was not reproued: his manner of worſhipping was meerely ciuill. The ſame geſture may be performed to different perſons with a different reſpect. A childe may kneele to his parent, and to the king. Yet it followeth not that he maketh his parent a king. Neither will it follow that by kneeling to his parent he maketh him a God, becauſe men kneele to God.

Contrary to the forenamed branches of reuerend geſture, are,⁸⁹

1. 89. Vnreuerend geſtures of children.

1. Rudeneſſe and vnmannerlineſſe, when children know not how to put difference betwixt their parents and ſtrangers, but can⁹⁰ p. 440 ſuffer their parents to come to them, and they abide in their place and not ſtirre to meet them.

1. 90. 1. Rudeneſſe.

2. Diſdainfull ſtatelineſſe, when they thinke much to ſtand⁹¹ bare-headed any while in their parents preſence. It falleth out many times, that when parents and children are together before their betters, they will ſhew more reuerence then theſe: for the father will ſtand, and be vncouered, when the ſonne ſitteth downe and puts on his hat, vpon conceit that his father doth more reuerence then is meet: but if it were ſo, yet the ſonne for the fathers ſake ſhould ſtoope ſomewhat the lower.

1. 91. 2. Statelineſſe.

3. Wantonneſſe and boldneſſe, when children are ouer-familiar⁹² with their parents: toying and gigling vpon euery light occaſion. This kinde of cariage cannot but much tend to the diſgrace and diſhonour of parents. For what can they who behold it thinke, but that ſuch children haue beene too much cockered and ill nurtered?

1. 92. 3. Boldneſſe.

4. Ambition, when children are ſo ambitiouſly deſirous of place,⁹³ eſpecially in companie, as rather then be vnder ſome whom they ſuppoſe to be at leaſt their equals, they will be aboue their parents. This oft falleth out, when parents being of a lowly minde, giue place to ſuch as their children, being of a lofty minde, thinke meaner then themſelues. Now rather then they will be vnder their inferiours (as they ſuppoſe) they will be aboue their parents. A point of great inſolencie. Such ought to be the reſpect of a childe to his parent, as he ſhould debaſe himſelfe below thoſe that are his inferiours, rather then exalt himſelfe aboue his parent. As with other men, for peace ſake, in many caſes, a man muſt depart from his right; ſo eſpecially with his parent, in caſe of ſuperioritie. Would not euery one that knowes what honour a childe owes to a father, condemne that childs ambition, that ſhould ſo ſtand vpon the place and hand, as to take them of his parent?

1. 93. 4. Ambition.

5. An ouer-nice and erroneous opinion of thoſe, who thinke it⁹⁴ vnmeet for any childe to aske their parents bleſſing. Their owne conceit more ſwayeth them, then the continuali approued practiſe of Gods people in all ages: not vnlike him whom Solomon ſaith to be wiſer in his owne conceit, then ſeuen men that can render⁹⁵ a reaſon. Others, though they doe not ſo generally disallow this p. 441 dutie, yet they thinke it meet only for yong children: not conſidering of what yeeres, ſtature, and ſtate, Ioſeph was, when he performed it.

1. 94. 5. Refuſing to aske bleſſing.
2. 95. Pro. 26. 16.

As for thoſe, who thinke it not vnlawfull, yet careleſly neglect it, they little conſider the benefit of a parents bleſſing. Profane Eſau ſhall another day riſe vp in iudgement againſt them. He⁹⁶ beggd and beggd againe and againe, and that with a loud cry and ſalt teares, a bleſſing of his father.

1. 96. Gen 27. 34. Heb. 12 17.

Thus much of childrens reuerence. Their obedience followeth.

The obedience of children doth moſt proue the authoritie of parents, and is the ſureſt euidence of the honour a childe giueth to his parent: therefore is it⁹⁷ by name in the text expreſſed, and all other duties are compriſed vnder it. Reuerence without obedience is a meere mockage, nothing at all acceptable. Of the two, a childe were better faile in the former: inſtance the⁹⁸ parable of the two ſonnes. Reuerence in compariſon of obedience is but a complementall honour. Obedience is a true reall honour; the ſureſt triall of a dutifull childe. Obedience is a dutie ſo proper to children, as the Apoſtle applieth it to them as a proper attribute, ſaying,⁹⁹ as obedient children faſhion not, &c. The example of Chriſt is herein ſet before vs as a patterne:¹⁰⁰ he was ſubiect to his parents. Solomon counteth the neglect thereof a¹⁰¹ deſpiſing of a parent.

1. 97. Eph. 6. 1. Col. 3. 20.
2. 98. Matt. 21. 31.
3. 99. 1 Pet. 1. 14.
4. 100. Luk. 2. 5 1.
5. 101. Pro. 23. 22.

Contrary is diſobedience and rebellion: the greateſt impeachment¹⁰² of parents authoritie that can be. For to what end is authoritie ouer thoſe who reſiſt it, and rebell againſt it? The¹⁰³ Apoſtle reckoneth diſobedient children among the lewdeſt perſons that be: and ſetteth forth their diſobedience by¹⁰⁴ a metaphor taken from vntamed, head-ſtrong beaſts, that will not be brought vnder the yoke: the word therefore is not vnfitly tranſlated vnruly: and it is ſomewhat anſwerable to an¹⁰⁵ Hebrew phraſe giuen to diſobedient children, viz. ſonnes of Belial, which is according to the notation as much as ſonnes without profit; or, as ſome will haue it, ſonnes without yoke, that is, ſuch children, as refuſing to be in ſubiection vnto parents, are no way profitable, but worke much p. 442 miſchiefe, and cauſe great griefe. The¹⁰⁶ puniſhment which by Gods law was appointed to diſobedient and rebellious children, was a publike ſhamefull death.

1. 102. Diſobedience moſt contrary to parents authoritie.
2. 103. 2 Tim. 3. 2.
3. 104. Tit 1. 6. τέκνα ἀνυπότακτα.
4. 105. Deut. 13. 13. בני־בליעל ex non & profuit. Hier. abſque iugo. quaſi בלי עול
5. 106. Deut. 21. 18, &c.

That children may the better know their dutie in this reſpect,¹⁰⁷ I will diſtinctly ſet forth, both the parts, and alſo the extent of a childs obedience:

• 1. Wherein it conſiſteth.
• 2. How farre it extendeth.

1. 107. The parts of a childs obedience.

The generall parts wherein it conſiſteth are two:

1. A forbearance from doing things without conſent of parents.¹⁰⁸

1. 108. Of the ſeuerall wayes whereby conſent may be giuen, ſee Treat. 3.

2. A performance of ſuch things as parents will haue done.

The former of theſe is a dutie whereunto children are muſt bound while they are vnder their parents gouernment. For that¹⁰⁹ time the conſent of parents is not only meet, but neceſſarie: and that for theſe reaſons.

1. 109. §. 19. Num. 30. 17.

1. Children are as the goods of their parents, wholly in their power, to be ordered and diſpoſed by them. On this ground Satan hauing all that Iob had put into his hand, tooke libertie ouer¹¹⁰ his children as well as ouer his goods and chattell.

1. 110. Iob 1. 12, 19.

2. Children while they be vnder gouernment, (euen the eldeſt that are heires) differ nothing from ſeruants.¹¹¹

1. 111. Galat. 4. 1.

3. By Gods law giuen to the Iewes, parents had power to ſell¹¹² their children.

1. 112. Exod. 21. 7.

4. Parents had power to diſanull ſuch things as children had done. Inſtance the caſe of a vow made to God, which was one of¹¹³ the moſt inuiolable things that one could doe.

1. 113. Num. 30. 4.

Contrary is the opinion and practiſe of many, who hold parents conſent at the moſt but a matter of conueniencie: that it is good, if children will, to haue their parents conſent: if they haue it not, the matter is not great: their contracts or other things which they doe, are as firme, and good, without, as with their conſents. If this were ſo, wherein is the authoritie of a parent more then of a wiſe experienced friend? It is meet, and good to haue ſuch an ones conſent.

But that the power of parents, and dutie of children in this p. 443 point, may the better be ſeene, I will exemplifie it in fiue particular caſes. 1. Entring into a calling. 2. Making mariage. 3. Diſpoſing of goods. 4. Ordering apparell. 5. Making vowes.

I. That children ought to haue the conſent of their parents in making choiſe of their calling, and not place themſelues as they pleaſe, is euident by the approued practiſe of the Saints recorded in Gods word.¹¹⁴ Iaakob was ſent by his parents to Laban to be educated vnder him.¹¹⁵ Dauid was appointed by his father to keep ſheepe: when Saul was deſirous to haue Dauid attend vpon him, he ſent to Iſhai, Dauids father, for him. In that¹¹⁶ Iſhai was so carefull to ſend prouiſion to his three eldeſt ſons that followed Saul to the warre, we may well thinke, that they went to the warre with his conſent. It is noted of¹¹⁷ Ionadab, that he appointed his sonnes to dwell in tents, and that accordingly they did ſo, and are commended and rewarded for this their obedience. It is collected both by¹¹⁸ ancient and¹¹⁹ later Diuines, that our Lord Ieſus Chriſt¹²⁰ in his younger yeeres, before he began to exerciſe his publike miniſterie, occupied himſelfe in his fathers trade: and that this was the thing wherein he manifeſted his ſubiection to his parents. This collection is made by comparing Luk. 2. 51. (where his ſubiection is noted) with Mar. 6. 3. and Mat. 13. 55. where he is called¹²¹ the Carpenter, and the Carpenters ſonne.

1. 114. Gen. 28. 2.
2. 115. 1 Sam. 16. 11, 19.
3. 116. 1 Sam. 17. 17.
4. 117. Jer. 35. 7.
5. 118. Iuſtin. Mart. in Dial. cum Tryph. contr. Iud.
6. 119. Eraſm. paraphr. in Mar. 6. Bez annot. in Mar. 6.
7. 120. Baſil. lib. de vit. ſolit. cap. 15. Theod. Eccl. hiſt. l. 3. 6. 23.
8. 121. Muſcul. in Mat. 13. Danaeus ſchol. in Mar. 6. Gualt. hom. 46. in Mar. Mutheſ. in Mar. 6. alijꝗ. Reaſons.

Equitie requireth that parents ſhould haue an hand in placing both their children, becauſe they brought them forth into the world, and brought them vp with much care, paines, and charge, while they were young, and till they were fit for a calling.

Beſides, Godhath laid it as a charge vpon parents, that they should ſee their children well trained vp: great reaſon therefore¹²² at parents conſent be had in ſetting forth children to a calling.¹²³

1. 122. 1. Equitie.
2. 123. 2. Gods charge. Bellarm. de Mon. lib. 2. cap.

Contrary is the opinion of Papiſts, who ſay, that children may¹²⁴ enter into religious orders, not only without conſent, but alſo againſt the minde and good like of their parents. Whereby they doe not only patronize apparent diſobedience in children, againſt p. 444 the expreſſe word of God; but alſo diſable children from helping their parents in caſe of neceſſitie: for both which Chriſt rebuked the Scribes and Phariſies in a like caſe.

1. 124. 36. Licet filijs ingredi religionem inuitis parentibus.

Obiect. Papiſts doe grant that if parents be in ſuch neceſſitie,¹²⁵ as they cannot liue without their childrens helpe, their children may not by entring into any religious order forſake their parents. For they are bound by the law of God to ſuccour their parents.

1. 125. Conditio eſt, vt parentes non ſint in tali neceſſitate, vt ſine ſiliorum auxilio viuere non poſſint. Tunc enim tenentur ex praecepto Dei parentibus adeſſe. Bellarm. loc. cit.

Anſw. 1. This caution hath beene extorted from them by euidence of argument taken from Gods word, and preſſed by their aduerſaries.

2. It toucheth not the principall argument taken from Gods precept, which they make of none effect by this their tradition.

3. Though parents be not at that preſent, when children firſt enter into their religious order, in ſuch extreme need, yet they may be afterwards. But after that children are once entred, they hold it vtterly vnlawfull that children for any neceſſitie of the parent, ſhould attend vpon them for their ſuccour.

Obiect. Children being entred into religious orders may¹²⁶ helpe them, as becommeth religious perſons, by their praiers to God.

1. 126. Eos iuvant quomodo religioſos decet, nimirum precibus apud Deum. Bellarm. ibid.

Anſw. 1. This is iumpe the Phariſies Corban, whereof Chriſt maketh mention, Mar. 7. 11. and whereby he notably diſcouereth the hypocriſie of the Phariſies, who made pretence of religion, an hinderance to that obedience which God required of children.

2. To pray for that which a man indeuoureth not to doe, when he may doe it, is a plaine mocking of God.

The arguments which they alledge for confirmation of their erroneous opinion, are taken from extraordinary examples, or from myſticall reſemblances, as

• 1. Abrahams leauing his fathers houſe.¹²⁷
• 2. Leuies ſpeech of his father and mother, who ſaid, I haue not ſeene him.
• 3. The aduice giuen to the royall Queene, Forget thy fathers¹²⁸ houſe.
• p. 445 4. The triall of our loue of Chriſt by louing him more¹²⁹ then father or mother.
• 5. Chriſts forbidding one that followed him to goe and¹³⁰ burie his father.

1. 127. Gen. 12. 1. Deut. 33. 9.
2. 128. Pſal. 45. 10.
3. 129. Mat. 10. 37.
4. 130. Luk. 9. 60.

Anſw. 1. For Abrahams example, 1. it cannot be proued that he left his fathers houſe without the conſent of his father. 2. He was then maried, and ſo of another houſe. 3. He had¹³¹ an expreſſe particular charge of God to leaue his fathers houſe, euen as he had to ſacrifice his ſonne. Except the like charge can be ſhewed, his example maketh nothing to the purpoſe.

1. 131. Gen. 12. 1.

2. For Leuies ſpeech, 1. It was noted by Moſes in relation¹³² to a particular zealous fact of the Leuites in executing the vengeance of the Lord, and ſo to be reckoned among ſuch extraordinary things as are not exemplary. 2. That which moued the Leuites to make no difference betwixt their parents and others, was the Lords cauſe: their parents and kindred as well as others had notoriouſly ſinned againſt God, and in that reſpect the Leuites took no notice of them. But they are not ſuch parents which Papiſts teach children to forſake, but any parents. Now what conſequence is this; Some children haue been Gods Miniſters in executing iuſt puniſhment on their wicked parents, therefore children may enter into ſuch places as ſhall exempt them from helping any parents, though well deſeruing? 3. The Leuites had an expreſſe charge for that which they did: but that which Papiſts inferre from their¹³³ example doth make the commandement of God of none effect.¹³⁴

1. 132. Exo. 32. 26, &c.
2. 133. Exo. 32. 27.
3. 134. Mat. 15. 6.

3. For the¹³⁵ aduice to the Queene, 1. It is myſtically to be taken. 2. If it ſhould be literally taken, it is to be taken as giuen to her after mariage, when ſhe was out of her parents gouernment. 3. It hath relation to the¹³⁶ law of mariage, and implieth not a ſimple forſaking of parents, but a preferring of a husband before them.

1. 135. Pſal. 45. 10.
2. 136. Gen. 2. 24.

4. For the louing of father and mother more then Chriſt, 1. It doth not neceſſarily imply a forſaking of our parents: for we may loue Chriſt more then them, and yet performe duty to them. 2. If they be forſaken, it muſt be in oppoſition p. 446 to Chriſt, that either Chriſt or they muſt be forſaken, in that if we cleaue to them they will draw vs from Chriſt.

5. For Chriſts forbidding one that followed him to goe and burie his father: 1. It was becauſe of an extraordinary calling which he had. 2. It is ſet downe as a patterne to Miniſters, to ſhew that they ſhould eſpecially attend vpon their proper function, and leaue other ſecular matters to be performed by ſuch as can performe them well enough. To apply it to childrens forſaking of parents, is to peruert the ſenſe of it.

Thus we ſee to how little purpoſe the forenamed arguments are alledged to proue that erronious opinion of childrens entring into religious orders without their parents conſent. I might further ſhew how irreligious their pretended religious orders be, and ſo ſhew how vnlawfull it is to enter into them, euen with conſent of parents: but that maketh nothing to the point in hand.

Contrary alſo to the forenamed part of childrens obedience, is the practiſe of ſuch children as trauell, and ſeeke their fortunes (as they ſpeake) without conſent of parents, like the Prodigall childe, if not worſe: for it is likely that he forced¹³⁷ from his father a generall conſent, in that he obtained of him his portion of goods. Theſe vſually bring great griefe to their parents, and many times make them feare more then is cauſe, as old Iaakob feared, when he knew not what was become of¹³⁸ his ſonne.

1. 137. Luk. 15. 12, &c.
2. 138. Gen. 37. 35.

Among thoſe aberrations may be reckoned a cuſtome in this land more vſuall then lawfull, for children to binde themſelues prentiſes without conſent of parents: to which fault they who take indentures of ſuch children, or otherwiſe couenant with them without knowledge of their parents conſent, make themſelues acceſſary.¹³⁹

1. 139. Arguments to proue that children may not marie without parents conſent.

II. That children ought to haue their parents conſent vnto their mariage is without all queſtion euident. For

1. God himſelfe hath giuen vs herein a patterne: He firſt p. 447 brought the woman to the man (Gen. 2. 22.) whereby he would ſhew that he who gaue a being to the woman, had a right to diſpoſe her in mariage: which right parents now haue: for from them vnder God, children receiue their being. In this caſe parents ſtand in Gods roome, and are as it were Gods hand to ioyne their children in mariage.

2. God hath giuen expreſſe lawes concerning this point. To omit that generall morall law, Honour thy father and thy mother (which, as it is the ground of all other duties appertaining to children, ſo of this alſo) the authoritie and charge which God by his law (Deut. 7. 3) hath laid vpon parents, to giue their daughters to husbands, and to take wiues for their ſonnes, hath the force of a law to binde children from taking wiues or husbands, without or againſt their parents conſent. This law was not proper to the Iewes only; but as a branch of the morall law it is preſſed vpon Chriſtians, 1 Cor. 7. 36. 37.

To this may be added the iudiciall law (if it be to be accounted meerely iudiciall) of a parents power in giuing his daughter, or refuſing to giue her in mariage to him that had defloured her, Exo. 22. 17.

3. Anſwerable to the law hath beene the practiſe of Gods Saints recorded and approued in Scripture. Iſaak married the wife which his father prouided (Gen. 24. 67.) Iaakob both obeyed his father in going to Labans houſe for a wife (Gen. 28. 2.) and alſo when he came to Laban asked his daughter of him (Gen. 29. 18. &c.)

Though Sampſon ſaw a daughter of the Philiſtims which¹⁴⁰ pleaſed him well, yet would he not marry her before he had his parents conſent, Iudg. 14. 2.

1. 140. Non eſt virginalis pudoris eligere maritum: electionem mariti parentibus deferat. Ambr. de Patr. l. 1. c. 9.

4. Theſe words of Thamar (2 Sam. 13. 13.) Speake vnto the King (who was her father,) for he will not with-hold thee from me, ſhew that children were not wont to be married without conſent of parents: Which is further confirmed by this oath of the Iſraelites, There ſhall not any of vs giue his daughter¹⁴¹ vnto Beniamin to wife, Iudg. 21. 1.

1. 141. Legitimum non eſt coniugium niſi vxor petatur a parentibus. Euariſt. in epiſt. ad eccleſ. Affric.

5.¹⁴² The ancient fathers of the Church haue in their ages taught children this duty, and pronounced mariages of children without conſent of parents, to be vnlawfull.

1. 142. Filij ſine conſenſu parentum ritè & iure nubere nō poſſunt. Tertul. ad vxor. l. 2. [moved in the edition]

p. 448 6. The very¹⁴³ heathen haue obſerued the equity hereof. Though Shechem loued Dinah, and had defloured her, yet would he not mary her without the conſent of his and her father, Gen. 34, 3. &c. Iſmael had learned as much either by the inſtruction he had receiued out of Abrahams houſe, or elſe by the light of nature; for he ſtood to the choice which his mother made for him, Gen. 21. 21.

1. 143. Tempore creuit amor: tedae quoꝗ iure coiſſent: Sed vetuere patres. Ouid. Metam. 4. Me parenti potius quàm amori obſequi oportet. Teren. in Hecyra. Νυμφευμάτων μὲν τῶν ἐμῶν πατὴρ ἐμοῦ μέριμναν ἕξει, κοὐκ ἐμὸν τάδε κρίνειν. Eurip. in Androm.

7. Though¹⁴⁴ Papiſts in other caſes make the authority of parents to be of no effect, yet in this caſe they count it vtterly vnlawfull for children to marry without or againſt their parents conſent: and haue thereupon made Canons againſt it.

1. 144. Concil. Trid. decr. de reform. matr. c. 1.

8. The¹⁴⁵ law of nature and nations, the ciuill and canon law, the common and ſtatute law of our Land, all manner of law is agreeable to Gods law in this point.

1. 145. Matris voluntatem in tradenda filia omnibus natura praeponit. Auguſt. epiſt. 233.

9.¹⁴⁶ It hath beene a cuſtome in all Chriſtian Churches throughout all ages, for the parent, or ſome in the parents¹⁴⁷ roome, to giue the Bride to the Bridegroome at the time of the mariage: whereby the parents conſent is openly manifeſted.

1. 146. Cum ſponſus & ſponſa benedicendi ſunt a ſacerdote, offerantur eccleſiae a parentibus. Grat. 30. quaſt. 5. Cau. [moved in the edition]
2. 147. Quod ipſi Philoſophi mirati ſant, ſeruate virgines. Ambr. de patr. l. 1. c. 9.

10.¹⁴⁸ Many Diuines of good note and name haue iudged ſuch marriages as haue beene made ſimply without, or directly againſt parents conſent (eſpecially if parents haue iuſt cauſe of exception againſt thoſe mariages) to be of no force till the parent be brought to ratifie them: and in many Churches vpon due examination of the matter, they vſe to account them as no mariages. Experience hath manifeſted the boldneſſe of many children in ſetting light by their parents conſent in thoſe places where mariages once conſummated are ratified,¹⁴⁹ and made indiſſoluble, though they haue beene made ſimply without or directly againſt parents conſent. Many children thinke, though it be vnlawfully done, yet being done it ſhall ſtand. Whereupon if they doubt of their parents conſent, they will caſt how to get their mariage conſummate, ſo as their parents may not know of it to hinder it before it is done: and after it is done, impudently reſolue to beare out as well as they p. 449 can, the ſtorme of their parents diſpleaſure. To preuent ſuch contempt of the power of parents, and to eſtabliſh that authority which God hath giuen them ouer their children, mariages without or againſt parents conſent as aforeſaid, are in many Churches made voide.

1. 148. Eraſm. in colloq. de Matrim. Luth. in ſerm. de Matrim. Bucer. in Mat. 19. Calu. Inſtit. l. 4. c. 19. §. 37. Bez. de Diuort. Zanch. de Oper. Dei par. 3. l. 4. c. 1. Chemn. in Exam. part. 2. Brent. in Catec. Melanc. loc. de coniug. Perkins in Oecon. c. 6. alijque. [moved in the edition]
2. 149. Hoc fieri debere & ciuilis & naturalis ratio ſuadet. Iuſtin. Inſtit. l. 1. tit. 10. Digeſt. l. 23. tit. 2

1. By mariage children are put from their parents: for¹⁵⁰¹⁵¹ Man muſt leaue his Father and Mother, and cleaue vnto his wife. Is it not then great reaſon that they from whom children¹⁵² had their being, and by whom they haue beene maintained and trained vp till the time of their mariage, ſhould haue notice of that kind of leauing them, and conſent thereto?

1. 150. The reaſons alleadged §.
2. 151. Gen. 2. 24.
3. 152. 12. may be applied to this particular.

2. A parents power by the marriage of his childe is paſſed ouer to the husband or wife of the childe. And ſhall ſuch a power be taken away without conſent of parent?

3. Children for the moſt part being heady and raſh for want of experience; and ſeeking more to ſatisfie their preſent carnall deſire, then to prouide a good laſting helpe for themſelues: but parents by the inſtinct of nature louing their children as well as children loue themſelues, and hauing by much experience better vnderſtanding of a meete helpe, and better able to vſe their diſcerning gift in this caſe, becauſe it is not their owne caſe, and yet the caſe of one whom they loue as themſelues, and to whom they wiſh as much good as to themſelues; is it not meete euen for the childs good, that in a matter of ſuch moment as mariage, the parent ſhould haue a ſtroake?

Queſt. What if parents vrge their children to marry ſuch¹⁵³ as they can not affect and loue: muſt children therein againſt their minde and liking yeeld obedience?

1. 153. Whether parents may force their children to marry, or no.

Anſw. If there be no iuſt exception againſt the partie commended, they ought with the vttermoſt of their power to endeauour¹⁵⁴ to bring their affection to the bent of their parents will: and as an helpe thereunto, be perſwaded that their parents are as carefull of their good as they themſelues are, and p. 450 wiſer then themſelues: yea aboue all they ought to make inſtant prayer vnto God (in whoſe hand mans heart is to turne it¹⁵⁵ whither ſoeuer he will) that he would be pleaſed to alter the courſe of their affection, and to ſettle it on the party whom their parent hath choſen for them; if at leaſt they ſee no iuſt cauſe to the contrary. But if notwithſtanding all the meanes that they can vſe, they ſtill finde their heart altogether auerſe, they may in a reuerend manner entreat their parent to forbeare to preſſe that match, and to thinke of ſome other.

1. 154. See Treat. 6. §. 54.
2. 155. Prou. 21. 1.

2. Queſt. What if the parent be negligent, and in due time prouide no fit match, may not the childe prouide one for himſelfe?

Anſw. A parents negligence is not a ſufficient pretext to make a child caſt off that ſubiection which he oweth to his parent. Yet I deny not but that a childe knowing where a fit match is to be had, may make knowne as much to his parent (as Sampſon did) and craue both his conſent and help thereunto.¹⁵⁶ And if his parent giue no eare to his humble ſuit, he may vſe the mediation of his kindred or other friends. Yea if neceſſity require that the childe be married, and his parent adde wilfulneſſe to negligence, and will not be moued at all, neither by the humble ſuit of his childe, nor by the earneſt ſolicitation of any friends, meanes may be made to the Magiſtrate (who is in Gods place ouer the parent as well as ouer¹⁵⁷ the childe, and ought to afford releefe vnto the childe) and what the Magiſtrate doth in that caſe is as good a warrant to the childe as if the parent had done it.

1. 156. Iudg. 14. 2.
2. 157. Qui liberos iniuria prohibuerint ducere vx eres vel nubere, per praeſides cogantur in matrimonium collocare Di eſt. lib. 23. tit. 2. § 19.

The like meanes may be vſed if a parent be an Idolater, Hereticke, or Atheiſt, and will not yeeld that his childe be married to any but to one of his owne profeſſion and diſpoſition.

Contrary is the minde and practiſe of ſuch children as ouer lightly eſteeming their parents power, take matches of their owne choice: and that ſometimes priuily without giuing any notice at all to their parents: and ſometimes moſt rebelliouſly againſt their parents mind and charge: not much vnlike thoſe p. 451 who in the old world are condemned for taking wiues of all that¹⁵⁸ they choſe (which was one branch of that wickedneſſe for which the world was drowned) or rather like Eſau who tooke¹⁵⁹ ſuch wiues as proued a griefe to his parents. What bleſſing can be expected to fall vpon ſuch mariages? or rather what curſe may not be feared to follow them? Gods law is tranſgreſſed thereby: his Image in parents deſpiſed, that which is more proper to them then any goods; or fraudulently, or violently taken from them: their ſoules grieued thereat: and they¹⁶⁰ oft prouoked to caſt off their children, and curſe their mariages. Now Gods curſe doth oft follow the iuſt curſe of a parent.

1. 158. Gen. 6. 2.
2. 159. Gen. 26. 35.
3. 160. See more miſchiefes following ſuch mariages, §. 21.

1. Obiect. Though Iaakob married one wife according to his parents direction, yet he married other three (at leaſt the two maides) without their conſent.